Guinea-Pig Voices in the Night

Ballet Lesson for Today

It's amazing what you learn in the ballet studio. Today, Kat, the instructor, scolded me, during adagio (the first thing you do after bar. It's slow, lyrical, and involves lots of arm movements). There reached a point when I blanked out on the next movement, I guess. Apparently, when that happend she told me that I stopped for and made a strange face and put my hand on my shoulder.

"It's very obvious" she explained "when you make a mistake because you stop etc... Don't do that. Own your mistakes. If you make one don't stop, move forward. Relax, if I was hiring you I wouldn't reject you because of these little mistakes."

Hmmm...I liked what she said which is rare cause usually ballet instructors just make things more confusing by talking. The second time around I felt so much more relaxed and excited and even when I made an error or didn't quite know if I was doing the movement 100% correctly, I tried not to worry. It was a wonderful recovery.

This episode got me thinking about the fear I have of making mistakes in other aspects of life. Sometimes, I feel that the fear of doing something wrong becomes the driving force in my actions. For example, I want to be a good daughter, grandaughter, roomate, friend but sometimes I'm scared that I'm not and therefore the actions that precede from me are based on this fear that I'm not doing it right etc... This thinking drowns me in anxiety. Ugh, I know Jesus doesn't wants this. My whole being feels the error and the bondage to this. Set me free..."I was born to love...I'm gonna learn to love without fear...". (O.Rh.)

Are you Married?

My Grandmemother and I were at Grace and Peace this morning getting some stuff together for a wedding reception. The food pantry was in session at the same time and while we were entering the church we passed a few of the people coming to pick up goods. My grandmother introduced me to one of the woman out waiting. She was Russian (Eastern Euro. at least) with a very stout figure and white hair. She took a good look at me and then cut to the chase,
"are you married" she asked.
oh no, here we go with that annoying question, I thought. Shockingly, the next word out of her mouth was an exuberant "GOOD". Ha! Definitly not the response I was expecting! It made me laugh though you could view the situation as sad too I suppose...

Hello ( for a minute)

My blog is drying up like parched summer soil or if you like the state of a vegetable garden mid January--you may not see much action on the outside but should you till the frozen soil, a host of activity would great you. Regardless of imagry, I've been out of touch w/ this thing for a while and miss it. Don't think it will start raining (or blossoming if you choose) till August or so. Looking forward to a lull in the wind...

Summer

It's not summer till I hear the cicadas singing in the trees. That pulsing rhythm, it's crazy how it gets under the skin, pulling up old feelings, moods, places...

I forget, summer used to be FREE; a paradise with darkness falling late, lightning bugs glowing in jars, visits to blue Lake Michigan, birthday parties with real candy (not carab).

Presently, I'm at home. Mom's garden is drying up like a shriveled breast (she's till out of town). I tried watering it but the sun has probably soaked all the H2O up by now. Probably best to water in the early morning or dusk. I had the day off so I'm sitting here trying to process the fact that it's summer...

Fairie Origins?

I found the following article in a text book I'm reading for a class on Special Education.

Folktales from many cultures feature magical "little people"-pixies, elves, trolls, and fairies. A number of physical and behavioral similarities suggest that at least some of the fairies in the early tales might have been modeled on people who had Williams syndrome. Such a view is in keeping with the contention of historians that a good deal of folklore and mythology is based on real life.

The facial traits of Williams people are often described as pixielike. In common with pixies in folklore and art many people with Williams syndrome have small upturned noses, a depressed nasal bridge "puffy"eyes, oval ears, and broad mouths with full lips accented by a small chin. Indeed those features are so common that Williams children tend to look more like one another than their relatives especially as children. The syndrome also is accompanied by slow growth development, which leads most Williams individuals to be relatively short.

The "Wee magical people"of assorted folktales often are musicians and storytellers. Fairies are said to "repeat the songs they have heard" and can "enchant"humans with their melodies. Much the same can be said of people with Williams syndrome who in spite of typically having subnormal IQs, usually display vivid narrative skills and often show talent for music. (The large pointed ears that are so often associated with fairies might symbolically represent the sensitivity of those mythical individuals -- and of Williams people -- to music and to sound in general.)

As a group, Williams people are loving, trusting, caring, and extremely sensitive to the feelings of others. Similarly, elves are frequently referred to as the "good people" or as kind and gentle-hearted souls...

-Adapted from article Williams syndrome and the brain by Howard M. Lenhoff Paul P. Wang, Frank Greenberg Ursulat Bellugi

Hanging out with Michelangelo

Birding...sort of

Below Deck...and Above

Dad's not really below deck here. He's finishing dinner at home!

Cloudy Days

This is the light house Tom Hanks runs out to in Forest Gump.

Looking Back

Mortality Musings on a Plane

There were lots of delays going on in D.C last night so I didn't make it home till around 2 a.m. Thankfully, my sister is a night owl so she and a friend picked me up. Actually, they were fresh from Shakespeare in the Park which they heralded as wonderful.

It's funny, sometimes when I'm sitting on a plane, I start thinking about what would happen should a crash occur. Wouldn't it be strange to face death with a plane full of strangers? Would I keep to myself as I entered the last minutes of life, praying etc. or would I try to comfort people around me with words of hope and peace?

This time round I decided upon the latter. Actually, I decided I would run over to a man who was sitting two seats ahead of me. On the plane from Portland to D.C he was my seat- mate. We'd had a wonderful desultory conversation full of tales he had gathered traveling around the world during his time with the Navy. He was a very fatherly/brotherly sort so I decided he would be good company should death be upon us...

By the way, has anyone ever used the drop down oxygon on a plane or used the seat cushion during a water landing? Ummm... has anyone had to make a water landing? Just wondering.

Moonlight

I had one of those awe-inspiring moments last night. For a second I wished I had my camera but later was glad to have left it at home. Dad, Isaac, and I went down to check on the trapped raccoon. We were all feeling a little surely towards each other-- probably a condition of spending an irregular amount of time side by side. As we drew close to the house, we were struck by the silvery light coming through the pine trees. It was ethereal; it drew us in. It was like we each had to get to the porch to look out at the water as fast as we could.

As we approached the porch and stood facing the sea, the sight took our breath away: The moon was full and it's light cast a perfect stream of dazzling silver across the water. All of us just stood there in awe, even little Isaac, who is quick to add a hint of sarcasm or cynicism to a scene, was perfectly quiet. There is something about the ocean and the moon in combination that reminds one of the vastness, the "beyondness" of this world.

Anyways, still no further info about the raccoons. The mother was continuing to warble away last night but we didn't hear much from the other guys. Oh, and Isaac was quick to revert to his silly playfulness after ten minutes or so, even after looking at the scene I described above. Earlier we had watched a Poirot (Agatha Christy detective series) episode. I guess the the dark woods inspired Isaac's imagination because before I knew it he was pretending to murder me, claiming Poirot would not be able to solve this mystery! Sigh.

Racoons to deal with

The racoon is trapped! Poor thing, she was looking at me w/ such a forlorn face. The guys who do the trapping, say she probably has kits so they are letting her stay in the trap for a while to determine wether or not this suspicion is true.

For a while, the racoon lay in a stooper. Maybe she was sleeping. I'm not sure. Around 2 p.m. she woke up and looked at me from her prison. Every once in a while she made funny warbling sounds.

Can you imagine being trapped in a cage on a porch facing the open sea? Mom said she didn't feel too sorry because the coon deserved it in her mind. I protested: "She's just being the creature she's meant to be".

Mom has reason to be negative towards racoons though. Once, during one of our vacations to Lake Michigan, two coons crawled into our cabin, right under her nose. Dad was out and the kids were tucked away under blankets for the night. She was thoroughly shaken from the incident!

Despite mom's "coon phobia", or maybe symptom of it, around 3 p.m, she told me to listen up. Sure enough, somehwere near the fireplace, we heard the familiar chattering. There were more.

After we alerted Dad, he called the trappers. I haven't heard what they are going to do yet. What can they do but set more traps? I guess they are worried beause if the babies are little they may die up there in the rafters (Apparently, they suspect their current prisoner of being the mother). Not such a bad thing except the smell would be horrible. Gross, I can just imagine having smelled some of the droppings (skat) already. We'll see how this resolves itself!

Photos from Maine

My mom is always on the look out for rocks. A few years back, dad and Isaac (I believe) found Lewis, a rock that resembles a large, smooth whale. Lewis even has an "eye" in the right spot. Last year, Isaac lugged another beauty up from the house. Miraculously, he was able to carry his treasure back down the road on his bike about one fourth of a mile.

This year, I'm hoping I'll find a good one. Down at the coast the first day, I found a promising one. It was small, black, and wonderfully gentle to the touch. Here are some canidates I by-passed.

The first day we arrived, the light was just amazing. It was streaming down, painting the ocean, a deep blue and filling the pine and birch forests with those special, mysical streams. Here is a shot I captured near one of the neighboring houses.

I forget the name of these flowers. The colors amaze me. It's my task everyday to water these plants. These flowers inparticular, need a lot of water so they get two drinks a day. For some reason, my computer isn't letting me resize my photos or I would have sent more.

Maine

For those of you who don't know, I'm off to Maine come Saturday morning. I'll be in the land of pointed firs for a couple weeks, chilling, gardening, scraping a porch w/ my dad, eating fresh lobster ( do you know hey can live to be around 80 years old?), hiking, runing through fields of lupines, and much more. I'll try and give some updates from time to time. Also, I'll have my camera at hand so hopefully I'll be able to deliver a visual taste. By the way, does anyone out there live anywhere close to Maine these days? I'd love to visit some amigos